3 February 2009
Small revelations
I am so thankful for small revelations. I overwhelmed at how smallest whisper can change both my outlook and emotions.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am an emotional person. I feel things deeply, and I’m easily given to tears. I’ve mostly seen my emotional side as something to be ashamed of, feeling like I must be the most up and down rollercoaster of a person ever. But over the last couple of years I’ve learned to see my emotion as a gift. Because I feel things deeply, the Lord often shares His heart with me, revealing things in my heart, or telling me things about His heart as I feel.
This week has been a hard week. I knew a hard conversation was coming and all i could do was cry. I was so upset with myself for crying over something that hadn’t even happened yet! But I couldn’t stop the tears. The conversation came and went, and tears flowed throughout. But a few days later, I felt theLord say, “Tears make your heart soft”. And I thought about that statement and realized that I had plenty of opportunity to be angry, or cynical, but instead I was tender. And I realized that because of the hours I spent crying, my heart was being prepared to not be bitter. The Lord was helping me guard my heart. I still felt the sting and surprise of my circumstance, but I wasn’t mad!
It’s such a small revelation, but I’m so thankful!
31 January 2009
Waiting…
There is no greater death than waiting, which is at the very heart of priestliness -Art Katz
I have a love/hate relationship with this quote. I want to be priestly, but I hate waiting. I really hate waiting. Few things in this life are harder for me. Yet because of my inability to wait well, I find that it the thing I do most. I wait. And I fuss. I wait. And I cry. I wait. And I start to lose heart. I wait. And finally I give into the necessity of waiting and the Lord breaks in. It really is a death. The quote if from the book Apostolic Foundations by Art Katz. He dives head first into the abundant details of the priesthood and what Aaron and his sons endured to be set apart as a priestly people to ministeer before the Lord. It’s gorey and messy. Covered in blood, standing for 7 days and waiting, being stripped naked before the people of Israel – literaly- the nation was called to watch the process of consectration. Incidently, the word consecration means, “Hands full of blood”. Waiting was required. The Lord was demonstrating that the process of being set apart did not come without a price. It was an exhasting, exacting, bloody mess. Nowadays, the process is not external as much as internal, yet no less messy. I’m learning that anything of value usually takes time. Jesus is faithful in the waiting. He’s waited and waited, He knows what it is to want something and the pain of desire unmet. He is the Great High Priest, able to sympathize with the waiting I endure. So I wait, eventually it will yield a reward greater than I can comprehend, whether I receive what I wait for in this life, or like Abraham, in the age to come.
8 December 2008
Ideas of Peace…
The other night I was watching a movie, and this line stood out to me,
Peace isn’t merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice.
Attaining peace is not about conflict resolution. It’s not about smoothing ruffled feathers and bringing calm to a tempestuous situation. Peace is about justice, the wrong things being made right. In fact, I believe that it will take a great conflict at the end of the age to bring about justice, and therefore peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace, the Righteous Judge, and He will bring peace to the earth by bringing justice through judgment – the purging of sin from the earth.
My ideas of peace need to align to the peace that Jesus brings. He comes with a sword, He has fire in His eyes, He is a Jealous God, holy, and righteous. Am I ready to witness and participate in the peace process of Jesus?
